If you haven't read part one of this list, go read it now to get my criteria. Before I start on numbers 20-11, I have a few comments on the state of game shows today. Bob Saget did a great job last night on 1 vs. 100- that's going to be a great show, I can already tell. Bob Goen is doing a good job on What's the Question? on the Game Show Network. The only problem with that show is it gives away the answer to the question while the letters are filling in. I'm astonished, however, that Family Feud trotted out John O'Hurley as host this year. Just when I thought they couldn't do any worse than Richard Karn, I'm proven wrong. Stick to Seinfeld and ballroom dancing.
Now, here we go once again with Matt Walker's Comprehensive Guide to the Top 30 Game Show Hosts of All Time, numbers 20-11:
20) Bud Collyer, Beat the Clock, To Tell the Truth Bud Collyer always managed to make the incredibly stupid stunts on Beat the Clock actually look like the production staff had spent time and money creating them, when in retrospect I'd be shocked if anything on that show cost more than $5 and took more than 5 minutes to make. He was great as host of a show that was a landmark in the era in which it was still a big deal requiring formal attire to appear on television.
Below is a typical Beat the Clock game with a stunt that was just a big version of a kids party game.
19) Chuck Barris, The Gong Show Chuck Barris- CIA Hitman? Crazed producer? Funny pothead? What was he, really? I'll never know. What I do know, however, is that his antics as host of the Gong Show were the highlight of the 1970s. He introduced some actual talent to the world (Cheryl Lynn, who sang "Got to Be Real"), some bizarre acts (Gene Gene the Dancing Machine!), and had the brilliance to team up Artie Johnson, Jaye P. Morgan, and Jamie Farr as judges. I bet that's what Simon Cowell had in mind when he nabbed Brandy and David Hasslehoff for America's Got Talent.
Here are two classic Gene Gene the Dancing Machine clips where you can see Chuck dance along.
18) Peter Marshall, Hollywood Squares Pater Marshall was great in that he realized the star of his show was Paul Lynde, with supporting characters being the other stars. He never tried to upstage them, and like a true professional he took their ribbing and laughed as hard as anyone. Also his real name was Ralph Pierre LaCock. You have to love someone named LaCock.
Watch some classic Paul Lynde moments below, and the return of Peter Marshall to the Hollywood Squares a few years ago.
17) Bert Convy, Tattletales, Super Password, Win, Lose, or Draw Bert Convy was a double threat in the world of game shows as both producer and host. He ushered in a new style game show with Tattletales (think The Newleywed Game with celebrities). I always liked the gimmick that show had of giving money to a section of the audience that was dependant on which celebrity couple won the show.
Here is a great funny moment from Super Password and a clip from Tattletales.
16) Groucho Marx, You Bet Your Life Where can you start with groucho? Without a doubt the quickest witted man in history, he knew how to ride the fine line of asking uncomfortable questions while still being funny better than anyone. Harpo can keep his scene from I Love Lucy, I'll take Groucho on You Bet Your Life. This is a great example of what he did best:
Contestant: Groucho, I have eight children. Groucho: Well, that's some habit your husband has. Contestant: Well you have habits, too, Groucho. You have your cigar. Groucho: Yes, but I take it out once in a while!
15) Richard Dawson, Family Feud Richard Dawson probably kissed more women on TV than anyone else in history. I liked him best on Hogan's Heroes, but his place in game show history can not be denied. From his work as a panelist on Match Game to hosting the Feud, Richard Dawson added a certain perverted older charm to all his shows. You have to love a guy with the balls to kiss a man's mother, wife, and daughter right in front of him. He also married a contestant he met while taping the Feud. I bet he was a swinger.
This is one of the most famous game show bloopers around- watch how Richard cracks up at an incredibly stupid answer.
14) Ray Combs, Family Feud, Family Challenge The best Family Feud host was also it's craziest. Any man that would attempt suicide by smashing themselves in the head with a brick is coocoo for cocoa puffs. He eventually succeeded at hanging himself while in the loony bin, and died penniless while estranged from his wife and 6 kids. He thought the Feud would be his launching pad to huge success as a talk show host. Doesn't he realize hosting a game show is the best gig in the world? He should have sat back and enjoyed the $6 Million a year he made as a host. Regardless, he was great at his job and had some memorable wrestling cameos.
Watch below to see Ray handing hosting duties over to a formar contestant for a few minutes.
13) Howie Mandel, Deal or No Deal The two best Howie Mandel stories I've heard have nothing to do with game shows, but they are funny nonetheless:
1) He had a contractor working on his house that used his guest bathroom (not his personal bathroom, but his guest bathroom). Being a total germophobe, he had to have the toilet in the bathroom replaced because it drove him crazy that a dirty worker had used it.
2) He guest hosted on Live with Regis and Kathy Lee one day, while the guest that day was Halle Berry. When announcing who would be on the show that day, he said something to the effect of, "Halle Berry ran into me in the hallway and she just kept on going." This apparently upset her to where she threatened to walk off the show and when she did come on, she berated Howie for the entire interview. What a cunt.
Now that that's out of the way, on to his prowess as a game show host. Howie knows how to keep the show entertaining regardless of how annoying the contestants may be. He also realizes that the stars of the show are the models and doesn't get in the way. He really does earn his $100,000 an episode.
Here's Howie taking full advantage of the set to entertain the audience, and doing what he does best- the tease into the break and the tease to the next show.
12) Peter Tomarken, Press Your Luck, Bargain Hunters, Wipeout, Paranoia When will people learn- STAY OUT OF SINGLE ENGINE PLANES! He sadly passed away while flying to San Diego to pick up a patient for transport to UCLA medical center. Press Your Luck was a daily staple of mine while in Elementary School- it seemd to be on when I got home from school, and I loved that show- the flashing lights, the Whammies dancing around- what's not to love? Peter always seemed to be astonished at what was going on, which added to the drama of the show.
Below are a few great game show moments- first the infamous "spin battle", then Peter showing that he can't dance, a 3-way tie at $0, and finally a clip from the great Michael Larson run where he figured out the patterns used on the show. Go read about it here.
11) Dick Clark, $10,000 Pyramid (and variations) As producer of many shows, Dick Clark has influenced pop culture more than any other host on this list. From his experience hosting American Bandstand, Dick Clark knew how to run a show. I always enjoyed what he would do if a contestant lost in the bonus round. Instead of just blurting out an answer, he would offer up some clues of his own and they would invariably instantly know the right answer. There's nothing quite like watching a host rub it in.
Here are some Dick Clark bloopers and the fantastic bonus round of Pyramid. I like the way he explains the rules and keeps everyone calm in this clip before giving the good news.
That's it for 20-11. I will be putting up the top ten soon...
¶ 3:34 PM
As anyone who knows me well can attest to, I'm a HUGE fan of game shows. I will watch pretty much any game show that is on the air, and have recently begun watching Chain Reaction on the Game Show Network. The show itself is great (save for the retarded blindfolded bonus round), but the host is AWFUL. Unwatchably bad. So, I started thinking about my favorite game show hosts, and have come up with Matt Walker's Comprehensive Guide to the Top 30 Game Show Hosts of All Time. Long title for this list? Yes. As we all know, I'm retarded. Now read away, watch the clips, and tell me what a loser I am for being able to even name 30+ game show hosts in the first place.
Notes: To put this list together, I arbitrarily decided that "reality shows" were disqualified as game shows. So Jeff Probst was ineligible for his work on Survivor, although he could have been included for Rock 'n' Roll Jeopardy. He didn't make the cut in either case, since Rock 'n' Roll Jeopardy sucks my balls.
My criteria for a good game show host: 1) Fun to watch 2) Keeps the game moving along 3) Doesn't get in the way of the game 4) Interacts well with the contestants 5) Doesn't screw up the suspense of the game
This is why someone like Anne Robinson from The Weakest Link doesn't make the cut- she made the show all about her, not the game. Save for a few rare exceptions, the game itself is the star, the host is just a supporting player.
Joe Garagiola missed the cut because he loved to kill the suspense on To Tell the Truth before they revealed who was lying and who was telling the truth. Bastard. I hate that. Go back to announcing baseball, you're good at that.
Honorable Mention: Meredith Viera, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? OK, she's really not that great, but I love it when people lose on the first question, and this was an excuse to include a video of just that happening.
Ben Stein, Win Ben Stein's Money The angle of playing against contestants was a great twist to the show, but his droll personality keeps Ben from cracking the list. Probably the smartest game show host in recent memory, you can watch him lose $5000 and actually appear upset, since that WAS money that would have been his.
Mel Peachy, Shandi Finnessey, and Hannah Peckham, Playmania I know, you don't know who they are. Hosts of Playmania on the Game Show Network (my current favorite show on TV), Shandi and Mel are a lot of fun to watch on a show that is essentially awful. OK, they're just hot and I like to look at them. Hannah subbed for Mel one night, and is the host of the UK version of the show, Quiznation. She gets my vote as of September 2006 for hottest chick on the planet.
30) Louie Anderson, Family Feud Louie was a decent host- as a comic he was quick witted, and if it wasn't for him banging teenage boys he'd still be hosting it today. Richard Karn and John O'Hurley are terrible (especially in comparison to the far better hosts that made this list). I couldn't find any videos of Louie in action as a host, so here's a short video of him dancing from the credits.
29) Pat Sajak, Wheel of Fortune Pat has always annoyed me as a host. He lucked into the best gig in all of television (taking over for Chuck Woolery as host of Wheel of Fortune) and is compensated incredibly well for it. Vannah White is what made the show take off. Begrudgingly I have to include Pat on my list due to longevity and the fact he hosts one of the most popular syndicated shows in history, but I still don't like him. Here's a clip of Pat Sajak introducing Vannah White on her first day, and a clip of him on his last day hosting the network version (which he left for his ill fated talk show). I bet he wiped his mouth after kissing Vannah, since I'm 100% sure he's a homo.
28) Allen Ludden, Password/Password Plus Allen met Betty White on his show and was married to her for 18 years (and the marriage only ended due to his untimely death). Password was an entertaining game, and Allen kept the game moving along and was quick witted enough to banter entertainingly with guests and celebrity panelists alike.
Here's an interesting clip with George Peppard (Of A-Team fame and a Carnegie Mellon Alumnus) ranting about the legal aspects behind the scenes, and a clip with a guest taking a small spill. Watch how Allen takes George's rant in stride, and immediately ridicules the contestant for the fall.
27) Jim Perry, Card Sharks Jim was always a fun host for what is essentially a retarded game of Acey Duecy. He kept the game moving, and I always thought he must have been the host that Sesame Street modeled Guy Smiley after.
Here are two clips- one of Jim hosting Card Sharks, and one of Guy Smiley. You can't tell me that's not a puppet version of him.
26) Jack Barry, Jokers Wild, Twenty-One Jack was an old school host, having worked on the show Twenty-One back in the days of the quiz show scandals with Charles Van Doren and Herb Stempel. Barry wasn't involved in the rigging of the game, but once he found out, like Nixon, tried to cover it up. He eventually emerged from the scandal to host his own variety show in Los Angeles, and worked his way back to hosting game shows. He always made it seem like the game actually mattered, and treated the show seriously, no matter how ridiculous it is to spin slot machine reels to determine the category of trivia question you need to answer.
Here are two clips- the intro to the show, and one of a guest unnerving Jack by jokingly implying that the answer to a question was being given to her. Knowing his history, one can understand why he was jumpy.
25) Vicki Lawrence, Win, Lose, or Draw As host of Win, Lose, or Draw, Vicki Lawrence was one of the only female hosts in a male dominated field. She was funny, entertaining, had a great grasp of game shows as a frequent panelist on Match Game, $25,000 Pyramid, and Password.
Here's a clip of Vicki doing the in-show interview with a contestant and having some fun with his profession, and a clip of one of the best gimmicks the show had- letting audience members play if they had time at the end of the show.
24) John Davidson, Hollywood Squares, The $100,000 Pyramid Best known for his stint as host of That's Incredible, John Davidson hosted a version of the Hollywood Squares in the 1980s that followed the run of Peter Marshall's versions. He was likeable, kept the game moving well, and didn't get in the way that Tom Bergeron tends to do now.
Unable to find clips of him hosting, here's a clip of John Davidson in a square with Alf filling in as host.
23) Tom Kennedy, Password Plus and Body Language Tom took over for Allen Ludden on Password Plus when his health was waning, and became a favorite of mine when I watched him on Body Language (which was just a retarded version of charades on TV). He always reminded me of a really fun uncle- a guy that knew all the games, had an infectious laugh, and would keep you entertained constantly, yet you still weren't sure if he was gay or a child molester.
Here he is on the intro to Password Plus (as well as the incredibly hot Audrey Landers), and trying to decipher what this contestant is saying on Body Language (watch for Ed Begley Jr. in his St. Elsewhere days at the very end of the clip).
22) Jim Lange, The Dating Game, $1,000,000 Chance of a Lifetime Jim hosted the Dating Game through it's initial run, and was host of the short lived Million Dollar Chance of a Lifetime. On the Dating Game he was always fun, and let the contestants show off their personalities. With celebrity guests frequently appearing on the show, some classic TV moments emerged from people such as Richard Dawson, Paul Lynde, and Michael Jackson. The Million Dollar Chance of a Lifetime was the first show to give away a prize of that amount, and had 9 grand prize winners. I always was irritated by the claim they made on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? that it was the biggest prize available in game shows, when 10 years earlier a million dollars was being given out. Oh well, no one but me was watching so it didn't last very long.
Here he is at the beginning of the Dating Game in the 60's. You have to love the tongue twisters near the end of the clip.
21) Bill Cullen, Blockbusters, The Price is Right, The Joker's Wild, $25,000 Pyramid There's a reason that the Game Show Congress Hall of Fame named it's career achievement award after Bill Cullen. The original host of The Price is Right, Bill was involved in game shows not just as a host, but as a panelist on I've Got a Secret and To Tell the Truth. He had a good announcers voice, and is probably the host that best made the transition from the 20 Questions variants (Truth, Secret, and What's My Line?) to the more modern style show with all the lighting effects, cool music, and circus like sets.
Funny story- I went to a birthday party for a somewhat distant relative this weekend. My grandmother's cousin's wife turned 80, so we went to the home of my grandmother's cousin's daughter for the celebration. So while I'm there, in strolls comedian Adam Hammer and his wife, Melody, who I haven't seen in 6 months or so. I first met them a little over a year ago, and never expected to see them show up at a small gathering of extended family. I of course ask how they know the people there, and it turns out that his wife Melody is the grand-daughter of my grandmother's cousin. We were at the home she spent her high school years living in. Which means our great-grandmothers were sisters, so we have the same great-great-grandparents. And I now realize that a photo I'll post later (gotta grab it from my mom) has her in it at my parents house when we were both little kids. Small world, eh? I'm soooo relived that she married a comedian who's a nice guy and is funny, not some retarded douche that I'd have to pretend to like. Not that she would really care about my opinion, since we met probably 4 or 5 times and never knew we were related. Just goes to show you never know who you're related to. That's why I'm going to stick to dating foreigners from now on. I don't want 3 eyed babies.
¶ 1:47 AM
OK, I haven't blogged in far too long. To make amends, here is my comprehensive list of the 10 coolest characters in movie history:
10) Pinhead Sure, lots of people will say that Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, Mike Myers, or even Chuckie are cooler. Well, they are all wrong. Pinhead was a different sort of horror villan- not some smartass or random psychopath. The only 2 horror villans almost as cool as him are the Tall Man from Phantasm and the one I have as number 3 this list.
9) Animal What's cooler than a red hairy creature that just likes to bang on the drum all day? He represented everything I ever wanted to be as a drummer. Wild, crazy, very talented, put up with no one's shit. He was Keith Moon, John Bonham, and Bill Ward all rolled into one. Well, those guys crossed with a Fry Guy. I couldn't find any good clips from the Muppet Movies, so I grabbed these from the TV show.
8) Salicious Crumb If you ask someone their favorite Star Wars character, you'll get one of three answers most likely: Boba Fett Darth Vader Yoda Not me. They are all cool, but for my money, the best was Salicious Crumb. He tormented C3PO (the first gay robot), sexually harrassed Leia, and probably banged that dancing girl with sausages on her head.
7) Otto What's the best scene in Airplane? Perhaps it's, "Guess I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue." Maybe, "Have you ever seen a grown man naked?" I'd even put up with an argument for, "Chump don't want 'da help, chump don't get 'da help." But my money is on the Otto Pilot scene. What beats an inanimate object getting blown by the heroine of the movie? Nothing, that's what.
6) Golgo 13 Don't know who he is? He's the man James Bond wishes he was. He could blow away Tom Berenger in Sniper. Agent 47 from the Hitman games can't even hold his jock. What do we know about Golgo 13? Nothing. He just shows up, kills someone, and goes on his way, probably to go be the ruler of Badassland.
5) Randal When I saw Clerks in the theater in 1994, I went because I saw a review of it on Siskel and Ebert and the Movies. While watching the film, I noticed Kim Loughran looked familiar. She played the sister of someone Dante and Randal went to high school with. Then I realized why she looked familiar- she was engaged to Rocky, who lived upstairs from me at Carnegie Mellon University. Who gives a fuck? Well, Rocky was an asian design major. It turns out Kim was Kevin Smith's ex-gf, who was the inspiration for the Caitlyn character. None of this matters, however- I just like that story. All I remember thinking when I came out of the theater is that Randal was the most profound man I had ever seen on the screen. Watch below for a sample of his brilliance.
4) Mr. Pink The only movie I owned on VHS when I was in college was reservoir Dogs. I watched it at least once a week for a year and a half. I used to know the movie completely by heart. The greatest fun I had with that knowledge was reciting Mr. Pink's reasons why he doesn't tip. Well, that and Mr. Brown talking about Like a Virgin being all about big dicks.
3) Zombies When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth.
I can't pick one of these zombies as being the best- they're all so great. (I guess if I had to choose, I'd pick Flyboy when he turned.) These are, of course, the zombies from George A. Romero'sDawn of the Dead. Not the stupid fast ones from the shitty remake. These zombies are slow, have cheesy looking makeup, and ate real pig guts in the scene below. Why people have tried to reinvent zombies is beyond me. Any movie where zombies run is a piece of shit, end of story. They are slow, dumb, and cheesy. And that's why they're number 3 on this list.
2) Beavis as Cornholio He was the dumber of the two in Beavis and Butthead, and in a fit of sugar high morphed into greatness. Cornholio appeared many times, and even popped up on an airplane in the film version of Beavis and Butthead. You can watch that below, as well as the first appearance of Cornholio on TV. Mike Judge for president.
1) Roger Thornhill What can even come close to the coolest actor of all time in the coolest movie of all time? Cary Grant just oozed cool from every pore. If I could be someone else, that's who I'd be. He would look at a woman and her panties would be instantly on the floor. If you want to see one of Hitchcocks best cameos, watch the 2nd video to the end. Poor guy can't catch a bus- is that any way to treat the best. director. ever.?
Yes, the LA Times actually published my name. No, I have no idea what they were thinking. But go to the show and see if you can figure it out.
¶ 2:02 PM
10) Pinhead
What's cooler than a red hairy creature that just likes to bang on the drum all day? He represented everything I ever wanted to be as a drummer. Wild, crazy, very talented, put up with no one's shit. He was Keith Moon, John Bonham, and Bill Ward all rolled into one. Well, those guys crossed with a Fry Guy. I couldn't find any good clips from the Muppet Movies, so I grabbed these from the TV show.
If you ask someone their favorite Star Wars character, you'll get one of three answers most likely:
7) Otto
6) Golgo 13
When I saw Clerks in the theater in 1994, I went because I saw a review of it on Siskel and Ebert and the Movies. While watching the film, I noticed Kim Loughran looked familiar. She played the sister of someone Dante and Randal went to high school with. Then I realized why she looked familiar- she was engaged to Rocky, who lived upstairs from me at Carnegie Mellon University. Who gives a fuck? Well, Rocky was an asian design major. It turns out Kim was Kevin Smith's ex-gf, who was the inspiration for the Caitlyn character. None of this matters, however- I just like that story. All I remember thinking when I came out of the theater is that Randal was the most profound man I had ever seen on the screen. Watch below for a sample of his brilliance.
4) Mr. Pink
When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth.
2) Beavis as Cornholio
1) Roger Thornhill
