I did a show last night at the LAX Sheraton run by Jeffrey Steele. The audience had a bunch of Green Party members in it. I thought to myself, "This is cool- I'm in the Green Party, they're in the Green Party- maybe they'll like me." Guess I thought wrong. But they didn't laugh at ANYONE who went up. All that, and they told me they drive SUVs, and they LIKE John Ashcroft?!? John Ashcroft belongs to a church that says dancing is a sin. DANCING! He's like the mayor in Footloose. That's not the same Green Party I belong to. Maybe it was the conservative wing of the party in town from Missouri.  ¶ 3:24 PM

  I'm the proud owner of a Toyota Prius. I've been telling everyone about how it was named Motortrend car of the year. In fact, Anthony made me mention it every time I was on stage while hosting last Tuesday, which I was more than happy to do. I'm such a nerd I've started a spreadsheet that is going to track how much I save on gas over my 1992 Camaro. I'm pissed that Gray Davis is no longer governor, though- he was trying to make it so I can drive in the carpool lane by myself. I just hope Arnie keeps up the fight. On the comedy scene, I've been going up as much as possible lately, and I'm starting to get booked for bigger shows. Check my schedule for the info on where to see me live.

I'm (almost) embarrased to admit this, but I bought the Weekly World News last night- I had to. The cover was pictures of sideshow performers. But no pictures of the Lobster Boy.  ¶ 2:30 AM